Whomever is leaving malicious comments on my LiveJournal and my site, please read:

they're a minor aggravation, basically. I think it's something legitimate, only to be disappointed. If you really want to get at me, you're going about it the wrong way. The truth is, I've become much stronger emotionally, to the point where I generally just delete or screen your attacks. So stop wasting both of our time.

Anyway, I'm off to finish getting ready for my flight to Fresno :) So excited ♥

So instead... I ended up just cutting a few communities, and some people who havent updated in a while xP

If you were one of them (or I cut you by accident), let me know! Leaving this entry pub licks.

So, I'm breaking back into personal blogging, and LiveJournal, but in the meantime I'm going to do a massive friends cut this weekend.

I've already removed people which did not have me friended mutually as well as a few communities. This weekend, I will be cutting people whose journals I do not read, and people who do not seem to read my own journal, as well as friends whom I do not feel are friends.

No, I've never done a friends cut; I figured if people were interested in reading me they would add me and I would do vice versa. However, I'm at a point in my life right now where I feel like it's time to do a different take on things.

when she feels the need to nag CONSTANTLY.

And then call me a child because she nagged in the first place. Sometimes

I wonder if she feels more adult just because she gets an excuse to say I'm "shoveling shit"

I swear to God, Fall cannot come soon enough.

So, I'm getting mildly pissed at this point

I'm curbing a huge addiction, one that I was never necessarily told to cut out, but one that I felt would better me as a person, because I want to have something of a social life.

Well, why is it that not but two days after I quit, I try to go out and do something with my friends.... And all of them are busy? It's really kind of disheartening when you really think about it.

Yes, I'd try to go out on my own. The problem? My parents are making excuses again about me driving - essentially, not letting me just because my mom put a hole in one tire, so they put a donut on it and just haven't gotten around to fixing it, and are telling me I can't use the car until they fix it. The problem? After they blew the tire up, they bought a kind of expensive new living room set (and they are complaining about debt when our old one was just fine....)

It's really aggravating to me that my dad would continue to make excuses to not let me drive and basically keep me stranded at the house, and that everyone else is out doing shit but all I can do is sit around trying to keep busy when I've run out of things to keep busy with.

I quit WoW yesterday.

It was pretty strange.

I had a tutoring session for Illustrator with someone... While I was doing it, I realized that I really do have some talent with illustration and design - maybe I'm not a modern-day picasso, but I can still do a lot of really cool things that I haven't been doing because I spend all of my time on WoW.

In addition, I was sick of Warcraft drama. I was tired of feeling emotionally drained over a *game*.

This is coming from a shaman who was in one of the top US guilds... Other than a small handful at the very tippy-top, I probably could have gotten into any guild that I wanted. I could have even switched to just playing PvP.

But instead, I saw the light. I saw what I wanted and where I was heading, and they weren't quite colliding.

So, I threw in the towel once again, this time of my own free will, and shut off the payments to my account.

This time, probably for good.

We tried to take the cat, Axl, to the vet this morning; it seemed like he was having heart problems.

He died on the way.

I love you.


<3

I went ahead and self-published on Lulu here: http://www.lulu.com/content/hardcover-book/song-of-destiny/6537006

I thought I might like to share it with some friends, so you guys can share that link. Otherwise, this is a private publication; I don't want to have it a public publication because I feel that once the economy begins to pick up, I should like to pursue an agent and a better publication method.

Cover art was done by me, all writing is © me under Creative Commons.

Well, my parents are noticing my small week of mellowness.

I say mellowness, because I'm not really depressed - just feeling ughz because there's no paying work coming in, and I'm watching all of my friends come back with another year of college done, when I wasn't able to get any done at all this year. Sure I took a few classes, but they were really a waste of time since my school wouldn't let me take the ones I needed to take in order to transfer.

It's really impacting me to not have some money coming in, though. I have $2500 in the bank that I have to live on for a year; that's going to be fun. And I haven't even paid my bills yet. At this point I'm probably going to look into getting some retail work, or becoming a tutor, or something, because I'll admit that I feel pretty worthless when I'm not doing something. That's how I've felt this week, to be honest; stuck. I don't want to be here in Vegas my entire life. And everyone's busy with their own friends and their own lives, and I find myself stuck in the house quite a bit; the one time someone asked me to go out somewhere, I had a stomach flu.

So I'm probably going to start applying at retail jobs; I need to get out of the house and doing things. I feel horrible just sitting around day in and day out; it's not my personality.

Meh... time to update my resume.

I've given up on pursuing Shu legally. I was angry, yes; Rika still very much wants me to break his kneecaps, but I don't want to get anyone in trouble legally.

My Wordpress experiments are coming along nicely; I think I've got some of it working, just need to style it up a bit.

Probably not going to get much done today though; thsi weekend my family was over, and Monday was a cookout, then the day after everyone, including myself, came down with stomach flus xP

Fun =_=

Otherwise feeling pretty good.

So Friday, I stop by BDI on my way doing errands, with some things of Shu's I found while unpacking. I give them back to him without a word, offer a smile (because I was in a terribly good mood), and go about my merry way.

I figure things are okay. He's out of my life, out of my mind, and certainly out of my heart.

Then Monday comes along. I check my bank statements, and realize with shock...5

He took out all of the money that had been placed in the savings account we had used to transfer money. I was the only one who put money in there when we used it as not only a savings fund but a way for me to pay my bills. I message him over Myspace, since he's blocked me on GTalk for no damn reason while I was out of town visiting my brother and hanging out with Arnold.

The date on the transfer was Friday, the day he saw me very happy and content with life. Suspicious? Yes.

He blocks me on Myspace. Defriends me rather and sets it so that non-friends can't send him messages, or something like that. Probably hit the blocked button thinking that there's no way I can get back at him or whatever. All in response to me telling him I want my money back, he had no right to take it, and that if he needed it that badly he should really get his finances together. So I message him on Facebook telling him he can expect a visit from me and my friends, because I'm not going to let him trample all over me.

So then in response he sends me angry text messages, saying I just wanted an excuse to talk to him and how he's so much happier without me (does he realize I'm already interested in someone else? Obviously not!) and how he'll pay me back $80 once I give him the month's rent for the week or two in July that I spent living with him.

Hmm.. I owe him money? Let's look at these expenses.

He withdrew $50 when we initially broke up; he had only deposited $25 in total into savings. I didn't push for the other $25 because I didn't see the point.

When we initially got together, he had no bank account. I took him to get one, and we discovered he had one with roughly $125 in it I think it was. This brings up the total he 'owes' me to $150, not including the $80 he took.

When things went wrong with BoA, I paid roughly $115 to bail him out of having an accumulating debt from overdraft fees that he didn't have the money to pay because he'd decided to get a new graphics card for his computer. I think this brings me to.. I want to say $240? Once again, not including the $80.

Then there's when I paid $150 for groceries and things around the house that I never even used because I wasn't there long enough. I left things like paper towels, a huge jug of soap, a bunch of chicken (mmm chicken). I ate a little, so I'll be forgiving and say it's $75. This brings me to.. Oh, wow, $315!

I paid $225 in rent.

That means that he owes me a grand total of $90 for all the ways I've covered his ass and not said anything.

With the other $80, this amounts to $170.


So, which should I charge? $170 or should I be nice and just try to collect the $80 he took on Friday when I was being nice?

Oh, and, I'll also be getting my guitar. It was so very nice of him to be so COURTEOUS and return my things to me, even after the breakup was finalized. I know I'll never be doing it again!

Hey guys;

I know a lot of you develop graphics, and I'm trying to add a Flash developer to my team. I'm going to probably have a site coming in that requires a small amount of Flash; you would receive a portion of the total cost, as well as a very attractive addition to your portfolio (plus you'd get to work with me!)

The client wants something similar to this site: http://premierespeakers.com/ I'm trying to talk them into a more accessible setup which will require no Flash whatsoever, but I'd still like to have a Flash specialist on my team for when a project comes in, and one on standby if the client does not change their mind.

I already work with a content writer and a developer, and I do all of the other graphics and design work myself (as well as some of the development) as well as work with several other designers/graphics artists, so I would expect you to spend no more than a few hours on this site. A price hasn't been settled, but you can expect to receive at least 10% comission (which, usually is quite a lot (upon average you would receive $150-$500 for one job - just for doing a few hours of Flash!), but I offered this particular client a 50% discount).

For more details, please IM me!:

MSN: silentdelerium08@gmail.com
YIM: scintillaofeternity
AIM: ImW8ngForGodot
GTalk/Jabber: brandnewaquarium@gmail.com or maidenus@livejournal.com

I'd also like to see samples of your work so that I can gauge your level of skill and expertise. I don't care if you're home taught or formally taught, all I care to see is a level of skill that I can work with, someone I can give pointers to, and someone who can take criticism from me. I do know some Flash, but admittedly my knowlede of it is currently limited - I like to focus more on the implementation, the PHP, and the Photoshop/Illustrator (as well as being the customer relations person haha).

You can view my freelance portfolio at http://belinkddesign.com . In addition, some other sites I've worked on in the past include http://confava.com as well as a few templates that can be found at http://projects.belinkddesign.com/templates/practicedesign.pdf and http://projects.belinkddesign.com/templates/layout.png

Hope to hear from some of you! :)

in my state?

It's more likely than you think.

Well, I'm glad to say I'm over what happened mid-January.

I've moved on with life, and I'm much happier now. It's funny; soon as I split up with Shu, I find myself being asked out by other people and whatnot. Admittedly there's one I wouldn't mind being with, but for the time being I'm working hard at revaming BeLink'd, and getting a new Wordpress theme on it - not necessarily too much time to stop and think about the other gender, or even relationships in general.

Though there's one thing that bothers me.

My credit score was delivered to Shu.

And I need it. And he blocked me from GTalk. Why do I need it? Well, not only am I looking to finance a new car, as well as am looking at hefty loans (thanks to getting into Sacramento State), I also have heard from my bank that apparently, someone took out a mortgage in my name in 2004.

The problem with this?

I was 14 in 2004. There is no way that this should have been approved, let alone have happened with me at such an early age.

In any case, the site redesign is going well. I've asked exor674 to install Wordpress on the server, as I hope to actually host the blog there, rather than have it on Blogspot, with hopes of drawing in more traffic this way. I've been working on it almost nonstop all week, and today I finally converted most of the files to PHP, as well as finished the jQuery programming for the portfolio, and finished coding out the rest of the pages.

Meanwhile, this weekend!

( Read more... )

Then yesterday, was hiking.

( Read more... )

All in all, definitely an interesting week! How interesting.. to go from being completely mopey and depressed, to finding someone that I realize I can tell anything to.. and who just seems to GET me. It's pretty nice really =)

I got into my safety school, Sacramento State!

=)

Feeling pretty good after this weekend.

Anyone got any tips concerning Agile Carousel jQuery plugin? I'm playing around with it today, and am interested in learning how to make it work. But when I try to upload its stuff, it gives me:

Fatal error: Call to undefined function filter_var() in /mnt/data/com.belinkddesign.projects/htdocs/carousel/make_slides.php on line 17

I really wish txtLJ worked with Verizon right about now >

I guess it comes as a surprise to some people, but not to others, and that this probably seems like a very abrupt thing to do.

It's been snowballing for several months now.

After December, I simply gave up. I saw that no matter how much I begged for his attention, no matter how much I tried to make things work, he was still going to sit in front of that game and drown the rest of his life out. We hardly said two words to one another; housework began to fall on me to do, and he began to refer to Ragnarok Online as his "second job" (excuse me? I'm doing freelance, working a day job, and going to school - if ANY of us have anything CLOSE to a second job, it's ME).

Frankly, I've been so tired having to take care of all three of us (the third being the burd), that I simply gave up. I was doing all of this on six or less hours of sleep - with hardly as much as a thank you (though I did finally get one this morning when I made his breakfast, like I do every morning). Technically, we've been broken up since mid-January, and just in this weird state of living together as room mates. It's a long story, but basically that was his last chance at actually talking to me and making things all right again.

Valentine's Day shouldn't be miserable though... I'm going out to Fresno to see my brother, and while I'm there I'm hoping to hang out with Arnold for a little while. That'll keep me busy for a while so I don't have to think about it.

I'm moving out tomorrow.